Mass Effect: Andromeda Whining

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I’ve started playing Mass Effect: Andromeda on my PlayStation 4. I haven’t delved very deeply into the game yet, but I have one thing to gripe about that I haven’t seen anywhere else (I haven’t exactly scoured the ‘net for this info, either) –

For a game that takes place on a current generation console in an era of great science and technological marvels that we can only dream of, I am deeply disappointed that you can’t pause the game unless your character is doing absolutely nothing.

Color me unimpressed at this lack of forethought.

Horizon Zero Dawn: First Impression (mild early story spoilers)

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I know I’m a bit late with this, but bear with me; I haven’t had a ton of time to write lately (I still have other posts to get up and out of the way and I’m also working on voice overs for a Fallout 4 mod) but I wanted to at least shout out Horizon Zero Dawn – the game that has had a monopoly on my spare time.

Horizon Zero Dawn – at a first glance – seems like a generic game with lush landscapes and a rugged female lead. While playing it, it has common ground with games like Tomb Raider (the reboot, at least) and Uncharted. Don’t let similarities fool you – this title stands on its own and shines for miles.

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Sonic the Hedgehog…Movie Star?

Hollywood isn’t exactly known for bringing new and fresh ideas to the silver screen these days. So far every comic book and Y.A novel has been ripe for the picking when it comes to adaptations for the box office and video games are no exception. The problem has been that most movies based on game franchises, for lack of a better word, suck. There are of course exceptions to the rule, Resident Evil was enjoyable, or at least the first one was. But for every Resident Evil Hollywood has churned out a host of bombs like Doom, House of the Dead, and all the R.E. sequels (seriously why do they keep making these!?). I have no idea if the Sonic the Hedgehog movie will be any good, if I had to guess I would say that it probably won’t be. If the movie is somehow successful it begs the question, what’s next? There are several game franchises that would translate incredibly well to the big screen, maybe Hollywood should take a look at these.

  • Call of Duty: This is a franchise that would rake in millions at the box office! No matter which era the movie is set (WWII, Modern Warfare, Infinite Warfare) there is a good enough story for an action packed and gripping action movie. Just don’t let Michael Bay anywhere near this series and you have a gold mine!
  • Heavy Rain: Like drama and intrigue? Heavy Rain has it in spades. This game could be turned into a modern film noir classic in the right hands. Under the creative eye of a director like David Fincher, Clint Eastwood, or Christopher Nolan this adaptation could be Oscar worthy!
  • God of War: Why hasn’t this happened yet? Revenge, violence, sex, this movie has it all! I can see Jason Momoa (Game of Thrones, Justice League) playing the titular character Kratos. Go ahead and get Zack Snyder to direct if you have to, but this movie would put 300 to shame.
  • Guitar Hero: Hear me out before you start trolling! Can you imagine a great rags to riches story in the vein of Rockstar? Or the hilarious meltdowns of This is Spinal Tap? I can! People love an underdog and success story and how can you get better than going from cover band to selling out Madison Square Garden. Not to mention all the drama and comedy in between.

You might notice a lack of RPG’s, well that’s on purpose. Games like Skyrim, Zelda, Final Fantasy, or my personal favorite Chrono Trigger are just too big and plot heavy to be done right on film. I don’t know if the upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog movie will be any good, needless to say I have my doubts. The good news is that while the Hollywood industrial machine can’t and won’t be stopped, there is a ton of great source material available in the world of video games.

Telltale Games listen up!

Telltale Games has been knocking episodic content out of the park since 2005, most notably with The Walking Dead series. With the most recent release of Batman: The Telltale Series and Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy on the way in 2017, I wanted to pitch some ideas before a slew of superhero titles floods the market. So if any execs from Telltale are reading, I’ll accept a credit and 5% profit share.

 

  1. Stranger Things – This series is just screaming to be made into a video game. With a large cast of interesting characters and compelling story lines there is a treasure trove of content waiting to be explored. Finally, it would be creepy as Hell, and everyone can use a little creepiness in their lives.
  2. Prison Break – What’s more hardcore than being in prison? Escaping from prison! Granted this particular entry doesn’t really require the television show’s backing or name, it would just be a really cool setting. Imagine trying to decide if you should bribe a guard, or shank another inmate who might snitch. There are tons of avenues and themes available to work with. Just don’t drop the soap.
  3. Wet Hot American Summer – Okay, I can hear what you are saying but hear me out. You are at summer camp, your sole mission is to hook up with as many people as possible all while taking part in the ridiculous hi-jinks of the counselors. What would you do? How about take the speed boat for a spin, or help take down a satellite, or perform at the talent show all while navigating teenage hormones and drama. This game would write itself!

Whatever Telltale Games has in the works, even if it isn’t the obvious instant classics listed above. I’m sure that we as gamers are in for some quality good times.

Shitty Attitudes in Gaming

The internet is a great thing. Glorious, really. It’s an information super highway that allows us to connect with anyone – and in some cases, anything. For the sake of this article and not getting too distracted with running on tangents – we’ll just focus on gaming. Naturally.

While shitty attitudes towards games have always existed – and some for good reason – there’s another sect of gamers that I’ve noticed that have become prominent. And annoying. They seem to go hand-in-hand with another type of gamer.

So today, I join among their ranks as I complain about the complainers that also need to remind us how much they hate it every time we mention a specific game. So do yourself a favor and read on, as it’s time for my shitty opinion.

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Resident Evil 7: First Impression (Spoiler-Free)

First off – I would like to preface this with the fact that I initially had a VERY negative opinion of the game prior to its release. I was one of those obnoxious purists that had automatically believed that the game was going to be shitty. The story actually had to be spoiled for me to decide I would give it a shot. No spoilers here, though – promise.

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For Honor closed beta reactions.

So where to begin? I’ve been hype for this game since debut trailer at E3 2015 and my friend gave me a closed beta code which was a mission and a half in of itself to find for uplay because as we all know, uplay is God awful for anyone trying to use it. Anyway, downloaded the beta, took an hour and change on a wired 60 mbps Internet connection. A little over 25gb.

 So the beta opens with the same e3 story trailer showing off the new villain which is apparently female Ares with a forgettable name and some good old forgettable plot monologue. That doesn’t matter to me, I want to play.

And then a tutorial, mandatory one at that. You can’t change the button configuration, nor put subtitles on, nor skip the opening cutscene on each battle which gets wicked annoying the more you get kicked during them. Adversely, my friend which you can follow on his YouTube channel GameBoiz, Broski had a great time, reported few kicks compared to me. I had to go to a wireless connection to even get games in.

Aside from the negatives, there’s potential there. I just can’t recommend buying it day one when the beta has this many problems on balancing and server issues. The game is fun but people running away from a losing battle to ambush you with 3 other opponents is not fun and gets annoying really quick.

 

I’m no longer buying it day one.